the Blair Mazoku Project
by Rayvenwing K
Summary: hmm...A random Sailor Garv story involving the Slayers cast and a few from Utena, Toshinden, etc....


WARNING! Sailor Garv fic ahead! I warned you....if you get fried I'm not responsible! *innane giggle* These characters are taken from various animes, and custom-made ones too, that are in a Yahoo (oops, meant top say yaHELL) club! Enjoy, minna-san!  
  
  
Title flashes across screen etched in deep oozey red letters: Blair Mazoku Project.  
  
The scene opens, a rather pastoral and nice scene at that-- rather it WOULD be if not for the large, shivery, complainig, group of people trooping across the open meadow...The angle cuts to the view of a camera, a bumpy view as the holder walks along the path, grumbling all the way at having to hold the camera for the Evil Females. "And WHY are we doing this exactly again you two, six, however many there are of you?"  
  
The camera lens suddenly is filled with a shot of Lina,Xellie,Nahga,Chibi Lina,Copy,and Lady Val all up close, the six clapping hands over Zel's mouth. "SHHHHHHHHHHHH" Xel whispers "we might miss HIM!!" Insert DUM DAH DAAAAA music  
  
"MmmmmmWHO?!?!" Zel mumbles under the Evil Females hands. "Shhhhh! Sailor Garv, Zellie-baka!" Lina snickers.  
"Fuuu, I'm tired! Let's rest a bit now, ne?" Copy asks, plopping down on a convenient rock.  
"Oy I guess so, SG can wait a bit" Xellie agrees, and flops down on a convenient Treize, happily groa-glomping.  
Lady Val takes the initiative too, pulling out her inflatable carry-along Valgrav, Nahga her Mitsuake, Chibi Lina glomping Chibi Chichiri(na no da!)...Not to be outdone, Copy whips out an Aya and glomps happily, and Lina snuggles to a squirming Zechs.  
  
More grumbling is heard from Zel's direction, and he walks off thom the six...A little distance away stands another trio, Sho, Juri, and Wakaba, the latter two trying once again to dunk each other in a puddle of tapioca pudding...Sho sweatdrops,"No comment...Hello, one sane person around here!"   
"Sane?" Zel grumbles more about the Evil Females.  
"Point taken" Sho says, pulling Juri out of the tapioca vat for the trillionth time that day.  
  
Suddenly DUM DAA DAAAAAAAAH! a rustling sound is heard in the forest, and Zel angles the camera in taht direction, the groap-er-GLOMPED bishonen taking the oppotrunity to zoom off into the forest.  
Xellie whispers, starry-eyed"Is it.."  
"Could it be?" Lina chimes in.  
"Oro!" (guess who that is?^_^ hehe)  
Nahga is busy holding onto MIstuake.  
"SAILOR GARV!!"  
  
A head pops out of the woods, a furry head of Gray Wolf. "Nope, just me in your world of nuts!"  
The sound of six thuds is heard, and Zel's camera catches the remarkable view of six face-faulting girls...Sho's eyebrow twitches."No comment...."  
Juri and Wakaba look very interested, wondering wether Wolf would be a nice pincushion for swordpractice...At this point Wolf zooms off into the forest, thinking he's better off alone than with these NUTS.   
  
"Hehe, well we'd better get moving now-ACK TREIZE!" Xellie looks around, as does all the other six.  
"ORO!"  
"DANGIT!!!"  
":D We can always catch them again!" Chibi chimes.  
Unanimous cheers on all hands, Juri and Wakaba joining in on the fun.   
  
Zel coughs politely."Wark whirr well let's get moving, so we can just get this OVER with!"  
So the group picked themselves off of the ground, out of vats of tapioca, deflated their bishonen, and trooped into the forest again, tjis time deeper than before, chasing the legend!  
  
Hours of hiking Later...and now in the sleeping tent…  
  
"YES!!!!" Xel yells, powerposing, cape flaring,"WE MUST FIND OUT THE SECRET OF THE FOREST!!! SAILOR GARV WE MUST FIND YOU!!!" Immediately she's brained by a barrage of pillows.  
"Awh come on Xellie, it's time to sleep for L-sama's sake!" Lina grumbles, grumpy as usual when woken.  
Xelie clenches a fist, posing again "But-" she stops, a faint sound heard outside the tent.   
Instantly everyone is awake with ears stretched to the max (think elephants!)  
  
"Fiiiiiiiiiighting goood my mooonliiiight chuuuuugging beer by daaaaylight..." A voice suddenly BOOMS outide the tent. DUM DAAAAAAAAAAADUM DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAMass chaos reigns as all the females glomp the nearest bishy (who had been rounded up once again), and fireballs and freeze lances and rose rings fly as everone seems to be glomping someone elses' bishy....Sho and Zel seem to end up glomping each other, thinking that Juri and Lina are close....  
Sho-"AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!KUSO!!"  
Zel-"AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHH WARK OFF YOU!!!"  
Both together: "EVIL FEMALES!"  
Females proceed to giggle.  
  
Everyone stops, realizing that the mysterious visitor is gone....Xellie's eyes go starry. "SG was HERE!" She hops out of the tent, followed by the six nutcase Slayers girls, the two equally nutty Utena ones, and a disgruntled, irrtable Slayers, and Toshinden dudes.   
  
"Hey guys, look over here!hehehe it's bootprints!"Lina yells.  
"Oy! Let's go that way then!!! ONWARDS TO THE GARV-LAIR!!!"  
With a chorus of agreement, from all but Juri and Wakaba, who are happily cream-pieing each other's faces...And the guys of course, since it's not really macho to be running around after some fruitcake idea....Then again the idea of eight girls to two guys...Zel and Sho lead the way!  
  
Hours later, after playing a game with the map, and loosing the map to a frustrated Lina's fireball…  
  
Soon they come across Wolf again, who is quietly rocking himself chanting, Zel zooms the camera in on him….  
"I'm not insane….:"  
"I'm not insane….:"  
"I'm not insane….:"  
"I'm not insane….:"  
"I'm not insane….:"  
"I'm not insane….:"  
  
"Well you are now!" Xellie says from her comfortably warm spot, wearing Treize's cape. Everyone nods in agreement, and they move on.  
  
More hours later, after pasing the same tree marked "Official Tree of Sailor Garv©  
"I'm HUNGRY NOW I'M HUNGRY NOW!!"  
"SHE ATE ALL THE TAPIOCA!" (two voices there)  
"Evil EVIL FEMALES!"  
"ORO, FUU!!"  
"It's a wonderful life…"  
"OHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOHO"  
"No comment…"  
'WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAD!"   
  
The camera angle suddenly cuts to a view of the trees as the voice booms once again, a huge shadow looming over the group, silhoutted by the moonlight, a faint red shimmer of leghair seen…..   
"IN THE NAME OF THE MAZOKU, I WILL RIGHT WRONGS AND TRIUMPH OVER ALL GOOD, I AM SAILOR GARV!!!!!!!!!"  
Scene shifts to a view as if someone's frantically running, Zel's breathing harsh as he leaps yet another stone! Another sound of frying is heard, the sizzling echoing through the forest! The Jaws theme starts to play, getting louder……..louder…….Dum….dumA bzzzzzzt closer…Zel hops a Panty-Flashed Sho & Company, then Chibi, Lina, Nahga, Lady Val…...….dum…..dum….DUMDEDUM DE DUM DE DAA DEEE DUM……DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHDUMMMMMMMMMM! Zel is confronted by a properly horrified Xellie, and suddenly the camera lens is filled with nothing but blue fuku, a swirl of shiny reg leghair, and then the dreaded pink frilly panties-Lens breaks and all goes dark.  
  
Television Broadcast…And to this day no one knows of the brave ten who set out in order to document the furry-legged panty wonder in the Blair Mazoku Project…Next, on Saturday Night Live, bishonen who are traumatized by their owners groa-GLOMPING them too much! Stay tuned!  
  
(Everything has been shamelessly ripped off of Blair Wich Project, yadda yadda....No bishonen were harmed in the making. Heavily influenced by the wacky Dril De kurukurunrun song @.@V)   
  



End file.
